22. 100 Ways to Leave Your Lover

100 Ways to Leave Your Lover

1. Slip out the back, Jack
2. Make a new plan, Stan
3. Hop on the bus, Gus
4. Drop off the key, Lee
5. head to the bank, Frank
6. Put on your hat, Matt
7. Head up to Conn., John
8. Put miles by the gallon, Allan (Alan, Allen)
9. You don’t need to be lude, Ruud
10. Don’t hang by your teeth, Keith
11. Change your name to Hannah, Bibiana
12. Cross over the gorge, George
13. Take off on your cycle, Michael
14. Be careful to dodge her, Roger
15. Don’t let her know when, Ken
16. Pick up some speed, Reid
17. It’s nothing to dwell on, Don
18. Talk about it on WISA, Melissa
19. Get a moving van, Ann
20. Crawl out the vent, Kent
21. Be your own boss, Ross
22. Get a bunch of pets, bibiana
23. Don't shower for weeks, bibiana
24. Be someone else, bibiana
25. Get off the can, Allan
26. Leave like a man, Allan
27. Wear fluorescent bandanas, Bibiana
28. Pack the closet with the peels of bananas, Bibiana
29. Hijack a diesel, Cecil
30. Hide in a barrel, Carol
31. Take what you can carry, Mary
32. Keep actin' silly, Billie
33. Take what you need, Reed
34. Do it with speed, Reed
35. Don't forget to bleed, Reed
36. Never mind where it may lead, Reed
37. Remember she may plead, Reed
38. Things are fucked indeed, Reed
39. And your spleen it will feed, Reed
40. That's not what I heard, pal mIEKAL
41. I'm distraught by the decal, mIEKAL
42. You're not my bell, mIEKAL
43. The world is not alchemical, mIEKAL
44. Go loco, Yoko
45. Unleash the weasel, Cecil
46. Sell some marijuana, Bibiana
47. Blow the whistle, Melissa
48. Block up the datafeed, Reed
49. Challenge her to wrestle, Cecil
50. Drive off in her Mini, Ginny
51. Ride off on a cycle, Michael
52. Overdo the tan, Ann
53. Steal the flan, Ann
54. Run off with another man, Ann
55. Elope with your gran, Ann
56. You just have to dis ‘er, Melissa.
57. You know that you’ll miss her, Melissa.
58. Sail a Viking vessel, Cecil
59. Run off with Ron, John
60. Get on the track, Mac
61. Try it again, Ken.
62. Just slip beneath, Keith.
63. Keep up the bark, Mark.
64. Eat all the stew, Andrew.
65. Put on the K-bosh, Josh.
66. Don't become a dodger, Roger.
67. Go on and on, John.
68. Start spitting seeds, Reed.
69. Move to Savanna, Bibiana.
70. Charge all in his visa, Melissa.
71. Light a match, Hatch.
72. Throw a bomb, Mom.
73. Slip him a drug, Doug.
74. Drive away, Kay.
75. Spell your name Alan, Allen.
76. Make danger music tick, Dick.
77. Spill all the beans in the can, Alison.
78. Nasal splash ordinary interruption tenet, Bennett.
79. Do nothing to encourage, George.
80. Head to New York, Dork
81. Get out while you can, Dan
82. Go to the country, Humphrey
83. Head out on the piss. Chris
84. Make sure it doesn't rhyme, Jim
85. Play fast and loose with Stan, Ann
86. Say you are a baron, Aaron
87. Say you are not 18, Laureen
88. Get fatty, Patty
89. Hide in the helter skelter, Bibiana Padilla Maltos
90. Play fast and loose with Ann, Stan
91. Eat all the chips, Dick
92. Don't wash pants until they get hard, Carl
93. Wear only in feathers, Heather.
94. Don't forget to give me a kissa, Melissa
95. Shack up with bono, Ono
96. Don't ignore the omen, Bowman

97. Strike, Punch and Parry, Harry

98. Hang a memorial wreath, Keith

99. Don't get any on ya, Bibiana

100. Never redeem, Dean




Roger Stevens, John Moore Williams, Reed Altemus, Bibiana Padilla Maltos, Melissa McCarthy, Ginny Lloyd, mIEKAL aND, Chris Hoddinott, Andrew Topel, March Bloch