100 QUIZ ANSWERS
1. The hairy hand of the albino poet
2. Not when the train is standing in the station
3. Blue, orange, and peachy with a hint of mint
4. Once, but I was drunk
5. Never on a Sunday
6. One is the loneliest number
7. Jim was the fastest
8. 263 mph
9. Neither. It was a trick question.
10. Covered in brown sludge and then fired from a cannon
11. 560 pounds dripping wet
12. Two feet below a bishop and four feet across the buttocks
13. When there's a bee in the month. (Geddit?)
14. Blairgowrie, Abernethy and Scone
15. The Broughty Ferry
16. In a motel by a freeway with a freight train coming by every half hour
17. Tijuana
18. In a flat in San Francisco. I have no excuse of being young
19. Yes
20. No
21. No. (Well, maybe)
22. Six miles south of Samarkand, take a left.
23 When the moon is in the seventh house.
24 A bulbul.
22. John 3:16
23. The 3:16 to Schenectady, change at Yonkers
24. Colonel Mustard in the Conservatory with the Lead Pipe
25 3 divided by 16
26 It can't be done
27 They would meet in the tunnel
28. Got the wrong directions.
29. Not for you
30. Absolutely nothing
31. The wrong hand
32. A Judas kiss
33. A skunk wrapped in an old sock
34. Behind the barn
35. Behind the back of beyond.
36. Down by the Oh Hi O.
37. Hard to swallow
38. A nod, a wink and blind bat
39. Jelly, custard and sponge fingers
40. 34 double-decker buses
41. His uncle's mother's sister's brother
42. ...try and try again
43. Jim was the fastest.
44. Neither. It was a trick question.
45. A trilby, a conch and a trampoline
46. Red with tassles
47. Underneath the arches
48. The Famous Mystery Spot
49. Two little boys
50. Nailed to the shed
51. None of the above.
52. That was no lady, that was my wife.
53. Slightly poached and green
54. Rubbery and smelling of treacle
55. One was shorter than the other
56. Neither; they are both going the same direction.
57. a) 4 times 3n squared over 7.9... b) The sum of all three sides.
58. The mongoose.
59 a) Moss b) Stones c) Bill Wyman
60. It depends whether she was conscious or not at the time.
61. To see his 'flat'-mate.
62. The older flipper first
63. Between two pieces of rye bread
64. Trombones, paper clips and saucepan lids
65. (B.) Because his name wasn't really Brian.
66. Both of them.
67. Miriam Margolyes refused point blank.
68. Twenty dollars
69. Never
70. Always two, they come in pairs.
71. 14 inches- fully extended
72. A cucumber, a Frisbee and a loofah
73. A nun on a trampoline
74. It was the hoodie crow.
75. Because the candle had been blown out.
76. An unevenly pigmented mole on the left buttock.
77. Only a gasp.
78. Just one time, but I was 20!
79. 38 times.
80. Titan
81. Tight Anne
82. A Thai tan
83. A Can-Can wanna-be girl
84. A donkey in Tijuana painted as a Zebra
85. A weird smell in the morning
86. Thursday at the latest.
87. Because I said so.
88. Why not? Everybody else does.
89. His uncle's mother's sister's brother
90 Crumbly with a fine dusting of silt
91. Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays when there’s an "R" in the
month.
92. Teachers, clowns, coaches and priests
93. Weekdays until 6, Saturday until 9, closed Sunday.
94. Three times a month and birthdays.
95. E-x-p-i-a-l-i-d-o-c-i-o-u-s
96. Cats. Lots of Cats!
97. Southern Illinois.
98. 1904.
99. A centipede with a wooden leg
100. See answers 1 to 99.
By Michael Leigh with Roger Stevens, Melissa McCarthy, Bibiana Padilla Maltos, Mdawg, Reid Wood, Ann Klefstad, Alan Bowman, Jonah Hex, Keith Buchholz, Allan Revich
Addenda
222. Oops, remember, please.
233. Oops, reorder, please.
234. Oops, reconsider, please.
14a Yes, that would be me.
15a Not all the time
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