Tuesday, November 03, 2009

100 Excuses to Postpone Work‏ [list no.6]

100 excuses to postpone work‏

1. Not having coffee
2. Feel sleepy
3. Feel cold
4. Feel hot
5. Not having breakfast
6. Sobriety
7. Aphasia
8. Attitude
9. Pencil chasing
10. Serendipity
11. Not having a job
12. Wrong lunar phase.
13. Wind NNW instead of ESE
14. One word: abduction
15. Dog ate my home.
16. Bad hair day.
17. Bad hare day.
18. Wind NNE instead of SW
19. Conscription
20. Fear Of Nothing
21. Fear of the wind
22. The Ottoman Empire.
23. Klingon translation device malfunctioned.
24. Art is a poor excuse for chocolate.
25. I've never been so insulted.
26. Brad Pitt day
27. Too windy
28. Fear of the word of.
29. Don't know where to start
30. Don't know at what to arrive
31. Flat bread day
32. Not enough wind
33. Waiting on everyone else
34. Forgot
35. Fear of.
36. Dropped my nose plugs
37. The shape of that quivering ball
38. Held on to my hair too long
39. Was drooling under the desk
40. Saw a French fry on the car seat
41. Needed cash
42. Pancreas prolapsed
43. The fungus was hungry
44. The HTML was unfavorable that day
45. Total-body catastrophe
46. A Noodle got stuck
47. Place of work burned down
48. Clothes smelling of gasoline (so those across the pond will understand) arouses police suspicion
49. Waking up in the wrong language.
50. Died
51. Accident in trouser department
52. It’s Saturday
53. A small meteorite fell on my head.
54. For religious reasons.
55. Bus strike
56. Leaves on the line
57. Varieties
58. I get picked on
59. I get ignored
60. I said, I get ignored!
61. Why is no one listening to me?
62. The bridge is closed.
63. My DSL is down
64. I found 3 gray hairs today!
65. I'm out of chocolate
66. Need to walk the dog
67. My hand hurts
68. My soap is on
69. Need my bubble bath first
70. I feel sick
71. Mercury is in retrograde
72. I found three grey hares today. They said, "Don't go to work!"
73. My dog died.
74. Had to bury the dog.
75. Broke my nail. Drats!
76. Just had a manicure
77. It's a really bad Mercury in retrograde day.
78. Outsourced to fake fluxus artists.
79. The distinctions between work & play are not clear to me.
80. I am principles.
81. Too much work to work.
82. I wasn't trained properly.
83. This list is in retrograde
84. I don't know what I'm doing.
85. I thought you were going to do it
86. Who gives a shit?
87. My computer got a virus
88. Once my computer was better, I got a virus
89. Passing wind, trousers smell like gas if you know what I mean
90. Cat anxiety
91. Flash flood
92. There are Leaves out there.
93. Something smells funny.
94. Remember what happened to Custer.
95. Must Burn Something.
96. Have to dance.
97. Fell down a bottomless pit
98. Fell into a trance
99. Fell flat on my pants
100.Fell into a dance

Kieth Buchholz, Melissa McCarthy,
Tamara Wyndham, Cecil Touchon, John M. Bennett,
John Moore Williams, Alan Bowman, Roger Stevens,
Ginny Lloyd, Cecil Touchon, Michael Leigh

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